Monday, May 19, 2014

Happy

Today is definitely one of those days where I would just like to curl into a ball with a cup of tea, a down blanket, and watch hours of mindless television. Or read a book, but I'd probably fall asleep immediately. And maybe that's why I have the urge to be solitary today. I'm exhausted. Although it could just be the cloudy, drizzly weather. Either way, I just want to be in a dark, quiet place. But alas, I have to work for a grand total of 13 hours today and I need to be a normal, interactive being during this time.

Typically I'd be ok just trudging through a day like today with a fake smile and a massive amount of coffee, but only 2 hours into my workday, and I've already had several comments that just were plain annoying. One regular at the community center (where I'll be spending my first 5 hours of work) hadn't seen me in awhile and asked me if I had lost weight. Feeling accomplished, but still with a lack of enthusiasm, I replied, "Thanks for asking. I actually lost about 15 lbs recently." This fine individual kindly responded, "Yeah, I thought you looked different. Your face looks thinner. It makes you look meaner." .....WHAT. Apparently I have a confirmed case of RBF on this oh-so-delightful, dreary, tiring day. Although I've been a self-proclaimed victim of Resting Bitch Face on multiple occasions, it just hurts a little more when someone says it out loud, entangled in their back-handed compliment that I was at first eager to receive.

Now honestly, I probably could've gotten over this pretty quickly because I just have a general lack of feeling today, but literally the next person to come in (another regular), starts off his interaction with me by saying, "Hey! You need to smile more." My RBF probably had a severe flare-up at this point, because he seemed hesitant to ask me for a cover sheet for his fax and just seemed put-off by my flat affect and glaring. His discomfort I considered a personal victory.

There really isn't a point to my rant, except for the fact that I am having a ranty day. But I do come across a lot of people that ask or are asked if they are tired or sick based on a first appearance. I'm sure I'm guilty of asking people this, too, but wouldn't it be better if we just asked each other how we were doing first instead of immediately telling someone they look unhappy or pissed or ill? Maybe it's just not my day and your statement about my face made it that much more unpleasant. I AM A HAPPY PERSON.